i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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