she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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