He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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