So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
