why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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