Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
