I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
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i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
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You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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