I think im going to throw up on grandma
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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