gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
