you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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