We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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