just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
