I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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