Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
is that a dick in a sweater?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
