you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
