i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
