Christians are straight up FREAKS
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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