I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
