I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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