threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
