are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
