she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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