Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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