So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
