okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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