I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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