I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
