I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
