break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
