we're chasing vodka with high fives
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
