The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
