Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
