You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
