Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
