clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
