If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize