in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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