So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize