Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You made out with two different species that night
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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