is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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