Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
