They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
