I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
