I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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