I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
