i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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