Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Randomize
