dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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