wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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