Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
