i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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