A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
