Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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