just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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