Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
