who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
