you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
