My girlfriend figured out who you are.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
