Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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