dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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