How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
