no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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